I Keep On Searching
by Cabjandai
Summary: "Sometimes love is stronger than a man's convictions." What will Cloud's love do for Sephiroth then?  eventual SLASH   Time-travel Fic!
1. Chapter 1

**I Keep On Searching: Chapter 1**

Cloud Strife groaned softly as he came to. For a moment, he lay there, waiting for the throbbing in his head to subside, relishing the feel of soft grass that cushioned him, the warmth of the sun shining down on him.

Then slowly, reluctantly, he opened his eyes, sat up, and suddenly, was hit with a sense of panic. His heart lurched and his head whipped from left to right. Where was he? How did he end up here? Cloud could've have sworn he fell asleep in The Church, Sector 7 of Midgar. How could his well polished warrior's instincts not have alerted him of movement?

From what Cloud could tell, he hadn't been hurt. There had been no use of drugs on his body. His sword, First Tsurugi, lay right next to him, which would have been an unbelievably and incredibly stupid move on part of his kidnappers. Cloud was even more astounded to find that his motorbike, Fenrir, in its shining glory, stood not too far off. What pathetic kidnappers were these? Were there even kidnappers?

Cloud was beginning to doubt it; he wasn't tied up, he had his sword and his bike, and it looked like he was in the middle of a valley with not another human being in sight. So then, he was back to the original question:

How did he get here, wherever here was?

Sometime a while later, Cloud realised that he wasn't going to get answers just sitting around. Gingerly, he stood up, strapped First Tsurugi in its sheath to his back and mounted Fenrir.

Looking around again, Cloud realised that this place was **somewhat** familiar to him. Weren't those the Nibel Mountains just a few valleys away?

It was about time he visited Nibelheim again, though it wasn't the real Nibelheim... no, that had been destroyed by Sephiroth a long time ago... this new Nibelheim was just another half-assed attempt from Neo Shinra to try to make up for their mistakes. His heart clenched and Cloud momentarily lost himself in a mixture of grief and anger.

But his mother's grave was still there, and it had been two years since his last visit. Yes, it was about time he visited his hometown, or at least, what it had become. He wasn't ready to face Tifa again anyway. Not after the last argument they had. Why couldn't the woman understand that Cloud, with the constant mentally depressed state he was in, was not at all ready to start a family? Much less start a family with **her**.

Besides Seventh Heaven, Cloud had nowhere else to go. So why not go see his Ma again?

Cloud nodded firmly to himself and started Fenrir's engine, heading in the direction of Nibelheim before he could let himself chicken out.

* * *

The road was longer than it had looked from the valley, and even though he hadn't run into any monsters or things of the sort, Cloud didn't arrive at the Nibelheim Inn until nightfall.

Even though Cloud hadn't visited in a few years, he hadn't expected such a drastic change in the small, rural town. It surprised him to find that Nibelheim was different, but whilst it was different, the town was oddly familiar.

Oddly familiar to how it was when Cloud grew up in it.

Neo Shinra had certainly done a damn good job in restoring Nibelheim to its former state.

Cloud parked Fenrir to the side of the inn and locked it before going inside. He walked through the doors, straight to the bar / front desk and almost balked when he saw the middle aged, bear-like man on the other side of the bar. The man was much too familiar to Cloud... in fact, could he be... he couldn't be Mr. Winderum could he? No, that was impossible.

Because Cloud had seen the Masamune slice off Mr. Winderum's head with his own eyes.

The man hadn't any children either. However, the resemblance was striking, and almost sickening to Cloud.

"What can I do for you, sir?" Well, at least the man didn't talk like him. Mr. Winderum would've said something like 'Hey there, sonny!'

Seeing the expectant look on the man's face, Cloud forced himself to abandon his thoughts.

"I'd like to have a room for tonight please," he told the other man politely, "and may I have the recent newspapers? I haven't been in touch with the world for a while."

The stink of his body and the infinite amount of dirt on his ragged clothes told him that he had been lying in that valley for a long time, especially since he had showered before going to bed, whenever that was.

"Sure thing, sir. How 'bout you wait here while I get Dora to ready the room," The man said, while reaching into a drawer, and grabbing a crumpled pile of newspapers. "Here you go."

Cloud took it with a thank you skimmed through the headlines and to say what he read was shocking would have been the understatement of the century. Planet! How long had he been out? Neo-Shinra was yet again at war with Wutai? The last Cloud had heard, the company was fully occupied with restoring and rebuilding. What in Gaia was Rufus thinking? Had he no respect for Tseng? Cloud had been sure he and Rufus were on the same page the last time they chatted about Shinra's future and the company repaying its debts to the Planet. Cloud was already thinking of some of the colourful words and threats he was going to use to put the new president back on track when he returned to Midgar.

Cloud also wondered whether the standards of 'The Planet Times' newspaper were declining. Rufus had made it explicitly clear that the new company was **Neo**-Shinra. Yet, this paper addressed the company simply as Shinra, which was the term everyone used to refer to the company under Rufus Shinra's father's, the former President Shinra's, control. Even the 'Kalm Morning Post', which was infamous for its fallaciousness could differentiate between the two names.

Nevertheless, Cloud continued reading until his eyes settled on something that almost stopped his heart. Cloud's breathing quickened, his eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

The date read: February 23, **1989**.

Least it was according to the newspaper. Even substandard newspapers were right about the date though.

Cloud sat there, staring dumbfounded at the four numbers that made up the year.

"Your room will be ready in a 10 minutes sir." The man had returned with a key and handed it to Cloud who pocketed it. "You alright sir? You're looking a bit pale. Ah, did you just find out about the war with Wutai? Hopefully, you won't be posted there huh, sir?" The Wutai war had just started. Cloud's heart was beating so fast that he was convinced that it would jump out of his chest. Gaia, this man probably **was **Mr. Winderum.

"You sure these are the latest papers, mister?" Cloud asked weakly, while sending his prayers up to the Goddess. Maybe the man had grabbed the wrong pile. Though what the man was doing with newspapers from well over a decade ago was beyond Cloud. Or maybe it was April Fool's Day and that this was some sick joke. If it was, Cloud Strife was **not** amused.

"Hundred percent certain sir. Was reading it this afternoon myself." The man... **Mr. Winderum**... picked up a damp towel and started cleaning thee dirty beer mugs in the sink and stacking them up. "By the way, sir? Would you happen to be related to the Strifes just down the road? You look strikingly like that little tyke, Cloud. If you don't mind me saying. Though I can't imagine that boy being related to a strong SOLDIER such as yourself. That boy is a bit, uh, of a wimp. Even the mayor's daughter could beat him in a fight." Well, that cleared things up considerably.

Cloud couldn't believe what he had just heard. What the fuck? When and **how**, had this happened?

Cloud's throat suddenly felt dry, and he swallowed a few times before saying hoarsely, the only thing he could think of saying.

"I-I'm not a SOLDIER."

Mr. Winderum looked at him skeptically, "Your bright blue eyes tell me you are, as does that sword you have on your back, sonny."

"I- I am a swordsman, yes, but these eyes I got from... Mako poisoning. I grew up in a town like this one, with a Mako reactor. There was a leakage that I fell into being the stupid kid I was. My eyes have been like this ever since. Gives me trouble especially where SOLDIERs aren't liked." Cloud lied, shamelessly. Cloud was surprised and proud of his new found ability to just spout stories out of his mouth. He just hoped the stories were believable. But then, anything he came up with would be more believable than, 'I'm not sure what happened but I **think**, I travelled back in time.'

"My name is Christen Strife," Cloud went on, "but I know nothing of family in Nibelheim so I doubt they are relatives of mine. Strife is not an uncommon last name after all."

Mr. Winderum grunted. "You might want to pay them a visit, just in case." The older man paused in his work to look Cloud over again. "You really do look like an older version of that Cloud boy."

Cloud inwardly winced, wondering how he was going to get out of this one. Outwardly, he simply gave a sharp nod, as if unfazed.

The man continued gruffly, "I'm Tom Winderum by the way, and if you need any help in these parts, just come looking for me."

"Thank you, it was a pleasure meeting you Tom," as if Cloud hadn't known him before. "Have a good night." Cloud stood up and headed to his room. He needed to lie down. Cloud felt like he had aged a hundred years, which was ironic because he it **seemed** as though that, if this wasn't some cruel joke of Reno's or Yuffie's (Cloud couldn't think of any other people that would do something like this), or if he hadn't finally gone stark mad... it seemed as though Cloud had... had traveled back in time.

Gaia, Cloud could almost believe himself insane just **thinking** it. Thank goodness, he hadn't gone telling Mr. Winderum. Cloud had no doubts that he'd have been locked up by now or at least known as the freak of the town, again.

On the way up the stairs to his room, Cloud's mind was replaying his conversation with Mr. Winderum.

In retrospect, it had been a stupid move on Cloud's part to admit that his last name was Strife. But his identity was so important to Cloud, especially after he found out his memories had been mixed up with another's, even if it was his best friend's, and wandered across the Planet not knowing who he really was.

Cloud found it very hard to just completely abandon his name and take on a new persona. But then Mr. Winderum suggested that he paid a visit to the Strifes and Cloud knew that he couldn't get out of that one without looking suspicious. Nibelheim was a small town and news traveled faster nowhere else.

Cloud also knew that it cause a lot of problems if he just showed up at his mother's doorstep, being an older version of her son. But Cloud hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to his mom before Nibelheim was burned down, and he missed her terribly much. Even if his mother wouldn't know him, would think him a madman if Cloud just went over, hugged her and kissed her on the cheek like he used to, it was Cloud's one chance to say a proper goodbye.

Sighing, Cloud decided that he would figure out what to do after a long, hot shower and a good night's sleep. Maybe he was dreaming and he'd wake up the next morning and it would be 2015 again.

That's right, this was probably just a very, very vivid dream. No point worrying over nothing, then.

* * *

The next morning, when Cloud woke up and realised that he was still in Room 5, Nibelheim Inn, it finally sunk in that he was in the past. He was almost 25 years in the past and he didn't know how to get back to the time he was in before... will be in after and the situation confused Cloud to no end.

Cloud was too hungry to ponder for too long, however. He quickly brushed his teeth, got dressed, in clothes that he had washed the night before and left to dry while he slept. Then, feeling as refreshed as ever, Cloud made his way down the stairs of the inn to the bar for breakfast.

There weren't many people that were early risers like Cloud. Besides himself, there were only a four men, all in white lab coats, that occupied a table in the corner of the room. Cloud ordered a deluxe breakfast and sat down at a table himself, close enough to the men to listen in on conversation but far enough as to not look suspicious. It wasn't difficult given how quiet the bar was at this time.

He did this out of habit. The men were scientists, which immediately put them on Cloud's bad side. Not to mention they were very suspicious looking scientists.

Cloud had an inkling of who these scientists were and what they were doing in Nibelheim in the year 1989, if he had listened to Vincent Valentine's stories right. Cloud grimaced at the thought of one of his closest friends currently locked up in a coffin and in comatose. But Cloud could free Vincent earlier, this time couldn't he? In fact, he could even do it that afternoon if he put his mind to it.

Cloud, being one to adapt fairly quickly to whatever circumstances Fate liked to throw at him, was well over the shocking fact that he had somehow, miraculously, traveled back in time. The grande cup of coffee that Cloud had down as soon as it had been set on the table helped some as well.

Because really, how many times had Cloud wished that he could go back in time and changed something? He could kill Hojo and Sephiroth earlier, and prevent Nibelheim from being burned down, stop Zack from dying. Cloud figured that if he had the chance, he damn well shouldn't waste it.

The conversation of the other table pulled Cloud out of his thoughts.

"I can't believe we only have a three days to do all the experiments the boss wants us to do."

"Please, this is Professor Hojo. Has he ever been reasonable?" Cloud snorted softly at this. Not to mention, a familiar hatred churned in his gut at the mention of evil scientist.

Yes, evil. Cloud did not deem many things evil. Not even **Sephiroth**. Most people who did evil things were misguided or misunderstood.

But from what Cloud heard Hojo had done to Nanaki, to Vincent, to Sephiroth and to Zack and himself. To all of the man's test subjects. He did not hesitate to call Hojo evil. There was simply no excuse for him.

"You're complaining about doing the experiments, imagining being the subject of the experiment! I am eternally grateful that I am not that kid."

"It's for the greater good and scientific advancement." Cloud hissed a death threat under his breath at hearing this.

"But I can't help feeling that we'll go to hell for all this. What we're doing is wrong, and have you talked to Sephiroth? He's a good kid." Finally, a scientist whose moral compass wasn't broken. But a cowardly man.

What he had said confirmed Cloud's suspicions of what the scientists were doing in small town Nibelheim. Confirmed that Sephiroth was up in the mansion. That was convenient, Cloud could eliminate the threat as soon as that night.

"Don't let Hojo hear you saying things like that, we all know what happened to the Turk." Vincent. Cloud would have to take a detour to Hojo's bedroom and kill the man in his sleep... and do it as slowly and painfully as possible.

"Personally, as long as he keeps paying me what he does, I don't care. I have a family to support you know." He was the same one who had said that testing on **a mere child **was acceptable for the greater good and for scientific advancement. No doubt Hojo indoctrination. Nevertheless, it still served to make Cloud fucking furious.

If Cloud was going on a killing spree that night, he might as well throw in a couple of stupid scientists.

Cloud realised that at this point, he was clenching his fists so hard that his knife and fork were bent beyond use.

For the greater good? How could they disregard a life just like that?

If Cloud was not mistaken, Sephiroth would be ten, maybe eleven in 1989? A child, and even if that child was Sephiroth, he was still a child.

Which made what the scientists were doing all the more despicable. It took all the self discipline Cloud had not to slaughter them on the spot. Cloud's past (or was it future?) had honed him into a seasoned fighter and thanks to Hojo, he was a warrior overflowing with body-strengthening Mako. Though Cloud had left First Tsurugi in his room, it wouldn't be a problem to decimate them all with his bare hands.

Cloud breathed in deeply in a vain attempt to calm himself but didn't trust himself to move until the scientists had left.

"No," Cloud growled at himself. Do not pull a Sephiroth. Tame yourself.

Hadn't Mr. Winderum told him to visit his the Strifes? Yes, Cloud decided that he would. He missed his mother, even if she couldn't really be his mom right now. Cloud didn't know what he would do once he saw Elizabeth Strife, but he knew that he really wanted to see her.

The visit would distract him from the conflicting emotions the scientists' conversation had aroused.

He had heard about Sephiroth's rough childhood from Zack, from Hojo's boasting, and had read about all the horrendous experiments done to the poor child from the Shinra reports, but at the time was too filled with hate and anger at what the Silver General had done to take it all in.

However, now that he could think with a level head. Hearing all that from the tormentors themselves and knowing that those scientists were, right now, walking up to the Shinra Mansion to torture the child Sephiroth, Cloud felt a sense of sympathy that made his heart clench.

Because Cloud had gone through the horrors of Hojo's experiments for four years himself, and they were the worst four years of his life.

But Sephiroth had been in Hojo's grasp his entire life, from when he was a babe.

The only parental figure being the same person who ordered for his torture. It was no wonder that Sephiroth had sought the comfort his 'Mother' - Jenova. Even an alien calamity set on ruling the universe had to be a better parent that Hojo huh?

Cloud, at least, had his mother's unconditional love.

On the other hand, Sephiroth had had nothing.

Cloud stopped his thoughts in their tracks right there and shook his head violently to get rid of them. He couldn't feel empathy for Sephiroth now. It would make it harder to kill him when the time came, and unfotunately, Cloud **had** to kill him.

:: Why must you kill him? ::

Cloud narrowed his eyes. Who would ask such a stupid question as to why Sephiroth had to be killed? Sephiroth was going to burn down Nibelheim for goddess' sake! He was going to kill Cloud's mother, kill Aerith, and then kill millions more.

What happened... was happening... was going to happen... to Sephiroth was a tragedy, yes. Cloud could understand what drove the Demon of Wutai to insanity; a lifetime of Hojo, the loss of two best friends, a yearning for genuine love that made Sephiroth take what Jenova had offered without a second thought. Because of course, Sephiroth hadn't had a mom or dad who taught him never to take candy from a stranger.

:: If you feel that way, then **why **are you planning to kill him :: The voice was anguished.

It was sad that Cloud had to end one life to save others but he couldn't just sit back at let what had happened happen again. Killing Sephiroth would have to be done, it was for the greater good.

Realising what Cloud had just thought to himself, he sighed. How ironic. What a hypocrite you are, Cloud Strife.

Unwilling to just sit there and brood all day, as Cloud knew he could easily do. Cloud put some gil on the table (thankfully, he had his wallet in his pocket and some gil stashed in one of Fenrir's compartments that would last him a while), retrieved his sword from his room and left for the cottage where he used to live, where his mother and himself was still living.

* * *

**Constructive criticism is most welcome. In fact, please please please review and tell me what you think. I know this is probably the most cliche storyline ever, but :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I Keep On Searching: Chapter 2**

Cloud had no problems finding the cottage, since he **had** lived there for fifteen years of his life, but found it difficult to gather enough courage to knock on the door.

He knew he must have looked downright stupid just standing there on the front porch, with his right hand in a fist, raised and poised over the door threateningly.

But he just could not knock.

Because, how could just appear and burden his Ma with everything? Cloud remembered his mom in his childhood, constantly stressed because from terrible finances. No one ever offered to help Elizabeth Strife, the town's disgraced widow, either. Sometimes, the young Cloud saw that his mother was so stressed that he was afraid the lady might have a heart attack.

Undoubtedly, his Ma's life would have been a lot easier without him in it. Yet Mrs. Strife had never showered her son with anything but love. Pure, unconditional love and care.

So how could Cloud thank his mom, who now wasn't really **his** mom, by turning up on her doorstep as the grown version of her little boy. Cloud had no doubt that if he told Elizabeth Strife that he was her son, she would feel the responsibility to take him in and care for him as well and a good son would not put that on his mother.

No, it was Cloud's turn to take care of his Ma. Starting by killing Sephiroth. He wouldn't let his mother be killed. He would protect her this time around. He could help with the money problems as well.

Cloud quickly went back to the inn next to which Fenrir was parked and grabbed all of he had stored in the motorcycle, putting the paper notes into an extra plastic bag he always kept handy. Then he found a pen and some paper and started scribbling a note. (Yes, he had almost everything in his Fenrir. He **was** a delivery boy who spent half of his time on the road, much to the despair of Tifa and some of his other friends.)

Cloud wasn't sure what he'd write at first, but he soon realised what he wanted to tell his Ma.

The truth. I'm sorry. Thank you. I miss you, **so much**. In the end, she was still his mother, and Cloud wanted her to know the truth. It would be okay, wouldn't it? If Cloud didn't hang around to be a burden, if he helped her instead of harming her? Knowing his mother's pride and honesty, Cloud knew that she wouldn't accept gil that just so happened to appear on her doorstep. His Ma would probably turn it in to the corrupt police department who would then pocket the gil without so much of an investigation.

Dear Elizabeth Strife,

I'm Cloud Strife, I'm 26 years old, and I'm from the future. I'd like to say thank you. For taking care of me and loving me even though you had so many difficulties yourself. I also want to say that I'm sorry, for letting you die.

Cloud paused to consider what else he could write. He didn't have many memories of his childhood left. Other than the memories of his Ma's love for him, his childhood memories weren't very pleasant.

Because of the constant bullying.

Please accept this gil. Use to buy food for yourself and little Cloud so that he'll grow up to be a strong kid.

Cloud remembered that some nights, he and his Ma had to go hungry because of they simply had no money to buy food. Doctors he met later on told him that the mild malnutrition had stunted his growth severely. Bullies liked to pick on the small and weak ones, and if Cloud could save his younger self from that particular torment at least, he would.

So, just in case, he added.

Perhaps you might want to invest in lessons with Master Zangan for him as well. My younger self would definitely enjoy that when he grows up. I know I would have.

Cloud couldn't think of anything else he wanted to write, so he ended it there.

Please don't be a stranger. I miss you.

Love,

Cloud Strife

Cloud reread the short letter. The emotion he was suddenly feeling overwhelmed him and threatened to push him over the edge. Cloud could already feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

He blinked rapidly and tilted his head up, looking directly at the gleaming sun so that it hurt his eyes.

Now was not the time for a break down, Cloud Strife.

Would his Ma think the letter was a joke? Probably. But Cloud couldn't come up with anything better than this and he couldn't not do anything until he had figured out something better.

So before he could change his mind, Cloud slipped the note into the plastic bag full of gil and delivered it to the Strifes' mailbox.

Cloud then found a nearby tree to hide himself discreetly in, making sure that no one but his Ma would take the bag. He knew that Elizabeth Strife checked her mailbox daily, even though the she and her son never got any mail, and if they did, it was usually about overdue taxes and rents.

He spent the most part of the day in that tree. It wasn't until late five o'clock that his mom checked that mailbox. But Cloud didn't mind. Having nothing to do but sit and wait for once in a long time was refreshing and relaxing to Cloud.

The entire afternoon, Cloud had watched Elizabeth Strife play ball with her toddler son, his younger self, in their front garden and had chuckled as little Cloud jumped up to catch a ball that was a little over his head. Not only had his younger self missed, but had also fallen back and landed on his butt.

Who knew he was so adorable as a kid?

Nostalgia hit him hard and the urge to cry came back tenfold as Cloud remembered how his Ma had fussed over little Cloud who had starting crying.

It was good nostalgia though, as if he was reliving his most joyful memories.

How Cloud longed to be in his younger self's place at that moment. To be so naive, and carefree.

Cloud didn't realise until that point that he had almost forgotten, while continuously wallowing in his self pity, that this was what his childhood had been like. That someone, even if it was his Ma, had loved him so much to be worrying endlessly over something as trivial as scratch on his elbow.

:: It's a pity Sephiroth never had someone like that. ::

Cloud felt a pang of sadness. It **was** a pity, huh.

Giving as much money as he did to his mother, Cloud barely had enough for a satisfying dinner and realised that he definitely did not have enough to pay for his room.

* * *

"How can I earn some gil in these parts?" Cloud asked Tom Winderum once he had paid for his meal.

"Well, if you go to the town centre, they sometimes have odd jobs for you to do and you can make some gil from that, but it wont be much." Mr. Winderum said, frowning in thought. "You said that you're a swordsman though, right? If you think you can handle it, there's been a lot of monsters harassing Nibelheim lately and the mayor gives a damn good sum to anyone who can help with that. Plus theres always someone willing to useful monster droppings in the market place. I still suggest for you to go to the town centre, they'll tell you how much they'll pay you for what monster."

"Thanks, Tom." Cloud said gratefully.

He was also relieved to note that the scruffy man had dropped the 'Sir' and was talking in a way that was more like himself. Cloud reasoned that it was probably because he had told Mr. Winderum that he wasn't SOLDIER.

There was a lot of respect given to those who worked for Shinra, especially in small towns such as Nibelheim. It was one of the reasons Cloud had wanted to be a SOLDIER.

Cloud went to the town centre as Mr. Winderum had suggested, finding a notice saying that there was a pack of Nibel Wolves that came into the town sometimes and scared the people. One of the wolves had even bitten a little girl once. The town was willing to pay 1000 gil to anyone who would take care of the pack. I.E. Kill them.

Cloud figured that 1000 gil wasn't a lot, but it was better than nothing and told one of the receptionists that he'd take the mission.

He decided to go up Mt. Nibel on foot since Fenrir would hinder more than help if Cloud was tracking.

Cloud's experience with monsters and being on the road constantly made it easy for him to track the wolves and just an hour and a half later, Cloud found the pack in a cave, not too far up the mountain.

Just as easily, Cloud removed First Tsurugi from its sheathe and separated it into two. Then, Cloud sprinted into the cave.

The cave was dark but Cloud's mako-sensitized ears could make out where each wolf was and with just a few precise movements of his two blades, Cloud 'took care', as the town centre so elegantly put it, of the pack of 5 Nibel Wolves. Cloud picked up the Lucille Nuts the Nibel Wolves had dropped as proof that he had completed the mission and emerged from the cave again.

Cloud had done all that without breaking a sweat, and was about to make his way back down to Nibelheim when...

:: Isn't that the Shinra Mansion? ::

Cloud looked around. Yes it was!

He could barely make out the shape of the mansion in the dim moonlight but it wasn't far off. Strangely, Cloud felt a sudden urge to head towards the mansion and his legs subconsciously brought him closes and closer.

Cloud then remembered the resolution he had made that morning. Protect his mother. Kill Sephiroth, kill Hojo... and a couple of scientists. He was practically at the mansion's doorstep.

No time like present, he agreed with the urge, and walked a little faster.

* * *

Obviously, Cloud didn't just knock on the front door of the Shinra Mansion. He had some sense, even though this whole adventure made it seem like he didn't.

Instead, Cloud stealthily, or as stealthily as he could with a buster sword on his back, crawled through an open window on the second floor and thanked Gaia for his small build.

From past experiences in the mansion, Cloud knew that Hojo's lab was in the basement and was almost certain that Sephiroth was there.

Cloud glanced quickly at his watch. It was 9:24.

Yup, there was no way Hojo would pay his scientists so much and let them off work that early. Therefore, the basement was where Cloud had to go.

Strangely, Cloud made it to the basement without running into anyone and briefly, Cloud wondered where all the scientists he saw that morning had gone. Were they **all** down at the lab?

He got his answer soon enough, however, because peering through the door to the lab (being careful to stay out of sight of course) Cloud could see all four scientists and Hojo - the hatred that coursed through Cloud when his eyes landed on him was terrifying, and Cloud almost couldn't stop himself from going in there to kill the man at once.

To torture him like he had tortured Cloud. Like he had tortured Zack, Shelke and Vincent.

The lot was surrounding a naked young child with shoulder length silver hair and bright green eyes that were glistening with tears. The child had several needles in him, connected to various IV drips filled with goddess knows what.

The sight sickened Cloud to no end and he had to lean against a wall to steady himself. It was too much like the four years **he'd** spent in Hojo's care.

"Give him the fifth dose." Hojo's slimy voice ordered with glee. And if Cloud had thought the sight of the experiments done to Sephiroth sickened him, the sounds that came later... well.

Sephiroth's whimpers and sobs filled the air. "No! Please! Please stop sir! It **hurts**."

"Now, now boy, hush." Hojo said, sounding so ecstatic that Cloud could hear the grin in his voice.

"No! No! Please- ah!" Sephiroth screamed in agony.

Cloud didn't know whether it was his sympathy for the young boy or his hatred for the scientists that made him snap. He just knew that he couldn't just stand there and **watch** the torture. He tightened his grip on First Tsurugi and ran into the room, aiming for Hojo.

One point in his life, Cloud would've believed that it was an impossible fight; itsy bitsy him against five fully grown men and two SOLDIERs (guards that Cloud hadn't realised were there until now). However, it had been a long time since that point, and he **was** the one who saved the Planet from **Sephiroth**.

The fight wasn't a breeze, but wasn't enough to break a sweat either. Hojo went down first. Cloud felt a sense of elation at spearing the head scientist in the gut and slicing the man open. The two 2nd Class SOLDIERs then rushed forwards towards him, swords raised. But they were too slow in Clouds eyes, because anyone slower than Sephiroth was too slow to Cloud. Cloud split First Tsurugi into two blades as he did earlier that night and easily put the two out of action.

Cloud then heard the familiar sound of a gun shot and brought his smaller blade up just in time to slap away the bullet. He then threw it at the scientist with the gun, and it buried in the scientist's chest. Turning to the other three, Cloud sliced off the heads of two of them but stopped just a second before he could the third one.

"Please, please don't kill me!" The third scientist sank to his knees and pitifully begged. "I have a wife and a little girl back in Midgar!"

Fortunately for the scientist, Cloud recognised his voice as the one who said he felt guilty for what the group was doing that morning at the inn. Cloud held a blade at the man's throat.

"I didn't see you listening to the child's pleas," Cloud hissed venomously. "Why would I listen to yours? What is stopping me from doing to you, to your wife and your child what you have done to this one?"

"I couldn't have done anything! Hojo would've killed me! Everyone knows what happened to the Turk, Valentine! Please!"

Cloud regarded the sniveling scientist coldly and after a long few seconds, lowered his blade. He understood the scientist, sort of. Though he himself would rather die than inflict torture like that of Hojo's on a child, the scientist was a coward. Perhaps... perhaps Cloud could make use of him.

"Go back to Shinra Headquaters in Midgar, and tell them..." Cloud trailed off. Tell them what? What could be a reasonable explanation as to what had happened here? "Tell them a Nibel Dragon attacked the mansion, because Hojo had stole something from it. Tell them everyone is dead and Sephiroth is missing." Cloud would not leave Sephiroth's body around. The kid deserved a proper burial.

It was such a pathetic lie that it almost made Cloud laugh, but he honestly couldn't think of anything better at the moment.

"Go!" He said more forcefully, "Before I change my mind to spare your pathetic life! If you tell a single person what really happened here, I will hunt you down and what Sephiroth has gone through would seem like a vacation at Costa de Sol to you." He watched the scientist scurry out of the room before turning to do one last thing.

Sephiroth was still writhing in pain from his latest injection and seeing him the handsome young boy in so much pain like this, Cloud's heart clenched.

Cloud ignored the feeling, however, closed his eyes and raised his blade.

He couldn't let it fall.

Cloud breathed in deeply. Come on Strife. He's going to burn down Nibelheim. He's going to kill Aerith. Save the Planet again. Look at him, he's in pain, put him out of his misery. Kill him.

Yet, he still couldn't.

:: How could you even think about killing an innocent child? He has committed none of the crimes you accuse him of ::

That's right, Sephiroth was innocent. Look at him, Cloud Strife! He's is just a babe. How could you even think about killing an innocent child?

He has Jenova cells in him though, and as long as he has Jenova cells, he is a threat.

:: Do you not bear Jenova cells yourself Cloud Strife? ::

Cloud had almost forgotten that Hojo had injected him with Jenova cells. In that case, it would be extremely hypocritical of him to kill Sephiroth and not kill himself. But there was no reason for Cloud to kill himself as he was not affected by Jenova.

Or was he? What was this voice that infiltrated his mind, that he was so inconspicuous yet asking question that had directed what he had been doing for the past two days. Was the voice Jenova?

:: No I am not Jenova. I am here to help you. ::

The voice was clearer now that Cloud was consciously aware of it. It was almost a given that one should not listen to voices in one's head. Just like it was a given that one shouldn't talk to strangers. Yet, Cloud-

"You going to kill me, mister?" a small voice yanked Cloud out of his thoughts.

Whatever, the scientists had injected seemed to have worn off a bit and Sephiroth was now lucid enough to take in his surroundings. Sephiroth's sorrowful eyes gazed up at Cloud and it almost broke his heart. "Please kill me. It's so painful." The combination of the eyes **and** the voice did it. Oh Goddess, how could Cloud hurt the child any more now? He grip on his blade loosened and it dropped to the ground with a CLANG! that made Sephiroth flinch.

"Shh, I'm not going to kill you Sephiroth. I want to help you." Carefully, Cloud removed the needles that were attached to the boy and helped him sit up. What a lie, Cloud Strife. You are going to kill him. You have to.

:: No, you don't. You only **have to** kill Jenova. Anyone else would be pointless, heartless killing. Including Sephiroth. :: Cloud glanced at a door to his left that he knew led deeper into the lab to Jenova.

Perhaps if he destroyed the alien calamity. He really wouldn't have to kill Sephiroth. Cloud didn't like to kill unless he had to and though he had been through countless of battles, he had yet to kill a guiltless child and was not looking forward to start. Maybe, if Cloud eliminated Jenova once and for all... Sephiroth would be okay.

:: He could lead the good life he never had. He could have a childhood every child should. He could learn to love ::

Him.

"I'm going to-" Sephiroth gasped before vomiting all over himself. Cloud wrinkled his nose as his mako-enhanced senses picked up on the smell, but he ignored it, held Sephiroth's hair back and rubbed his back as Sephiroth threw up again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" Sephiroth said, immediately contrite when he was done. "I'll clean it up-"

"It's okay, we're getting out of here anyway." He would come back for Jenova and Vincent later.

Cloud shed his jacket and pulled it around the boy. "Can you walk?"

Sephiroth nodded determinedly and slowly slid off the table. However, Cloud had to catch him before could slide straight down to the floor.

"I'm sorry!" Sephiroth said fearfully, "My legs feel all wobbly, like jelly." Cloud laughed softly at how beautifully childish that had sounded. And it had come out of Sephiroth's mouth!

"It's okay," Cloud repeated and picked the slim boy up and carried him in his arms. Sephiroth put an arm around Cloud shoulders and rested his head in the small of his neck. Cloud then left the Shinra Mansion.

Thinking of what he had done, Cloud wanted nothing more than to leave Nibelheim. There was no doubt that he would be the most likely suspect, if Shinra didn't believe the scientist's story.

But he didn't have to leave** immediately**; it would take the scientist a while to reach Midgar and if Cloud remembered correctly, no one in Nibelheim liked going up to the Shinra Mansion.

Yes, he would stay for maybe a couple more days. There were still a few things Cloud had to do back at the mansion, namely release Vincent and destroy all traces of Hojo's work, as well as Jenova, so that no one else would be able to follow that mad scientist's path.

* * *

When Cloud reached the inn, and saw that all the lights were off and that no one was in sight, he realised how late it was. With that realisation, came a sudden weariness. But he shook his head violently in an attempt to shake off the fatigue and walked up the stairs and to his room. Seeing the soft, lush bed, his tiredness came back tenfold, but with astounding will power, Cloud fought it off and carried Sephiroth in the bathroom, setting him in the bathtub.

Sephiroth had fallen asleep in Cloud's arms on the way down the mountain so Cloud shook him slightly to wake him. "Sephiroth!" he called softly. "Wake up."

Sephiroth's eyes opened slowly, filled with apprehension when they landed on Cloud. "Who are you?"

"I'm Cloud Strife." Cloud said and then winced at his own thoughtlessness, remembering the name he had given Mr. Winderum, and added, "But everyone here calls me Christen. Do you still remember what happened?"

Sephiroth frowned in thought, and then nodded. "You saved me, right Cloud?"

Cloud laughed quietly, a tad bitterly. "I suppose so." Considering he was still considering becoming the boy's murderer, the question that had come from Sephiroth sounded absurd. "Come on Sephiroth, you need a bath."

Without waiting for a response, Cloud turned on the water, waited for it to heat up before rinsing Sephiroth's body with it. The awkward silence was getting to Cloud, so he said, hoping for some conversation,

"Tell me about yourself Sephiroth."

"Um. I'm 11 years old, and my favourite food is chocolate chip cookies. But I hardly ever get them, because Professor Hojo says its fattening, and I'm only allowed them if I do very very well in the physical tests." Sephiroth frowned, "Uh, there's not much to tell about myself actually. If you want to know more, you can read all the files the Professors have on me, but there's nothing interesting about me really."

"I'm sure there's plenty interesting about you Sephiroth." Cloud assured him as he worked on the child's matted silver hair. Since it was customary to share something about yourself when someone else had just done the same, Cloud said, "I'm 26 and I'm a mercenary." Would Sephiroth know what a mercenary was? Probably

Sephiroth's intelligence obviously did not fail him, and the boy nodded in understanding.

There was another long silence.

"Why did you help me?"

This question surprised Cloud who found that he didn't really know how to answer, so he countered it with a question of his own. "Didn't you want me to help you?"

"Of course I did! But... I'm not worth the trouble I'm going to give you sir," Sephiroth said quietly.

Hearing Sephiroth say that, Cloud's heart went out to him. Cloud knew that if he didn't summon up the resolve to kill Sephiroth now, he would never be able to, if he was already this attached to the child.

So was Cloud going to kill him now?

No

:: No ::

"You're worth **everything**, Sephiroth," Cloud told the boy sternly. "Don't ever think otherwise."

With that statement hanging in the air, Cloud finished washing up Sephiroth (and his coat that reeked of vomit), dried his hair, put him in bed, and fell asleep next to the boy.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this and again please review and tell me what you think and how I can improve! Thanks to reviewers of the last chapter and those who are following my story. I am really sorry but I am soooo busy with IB, so the next time I update might be years from now.**

**Golden feathers Edward: Thanks for reviewing! Its been years since I touched the game and the movie, nothing I have in my head right now about FFVII is reliable. I tried doing some research but I'm still not quite sure which facts I got wrong... care to give me a hint?**

**Ashlan: Thanks so much for your encouragement! This chapter is slightly longer :) Lol no, I just saw your review so I couldn't take it into account this time, but I'll try my best to make the next one longer.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I Keep On Searching: Chapter 3**

Cloud's internal clock, once again, woke him up at dawn. His first instinct was to roll over and go back to sleep, but then he saw Sephiroth next to him, so small and angelic, and remembered the events of the previous night.

The man groaned and forced himself awake; he had a lot to do in Nibelheim and not much time to do it. He had to wake up Vincent from his otherwise eternal slumber, he had to destroy Jenova and burn down the Shinra Mansion and everything else in it... Damn Zack's hero complex. But Cloud still smiled fondly and a tad bittersweetly as the memories of Zack and Zack's memories briefly resurfaced.

"Cloud?" a small voice asked. Cloud turned to Sephiroth and smiled at him apologetically, his movements had probably awoken the boy. Cloud remembered his decision not to kill the child last night, and he hoped desperately that he wouldn't have to go against it.

Seeing Sephiroth like this - innocent and sweet - Cloud didn't think he **could**, ever. With the image he had of Sephiroth now, even if the child burned down Nibelheim again, even if he killed Aerith again, Cloud doubted that he could kill Sephiroth again.

"Good morning, Sephiroth. You hungry?"

Sephiroth nodded and said shyly, "I wasn't given dinner last night. May I please have some food?"

"Of course," and then Cloud remembered that he didn't have enough gil; he would have to stop by the town centre and collect his reward. "But unless you want Lucille Nuts for breakfast, you'll have to wait a while for me to go buy some food, okay?"

Cloud made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He was well aware that, much to his disgust, he and his clothes smelled of sweat and a bit of vomit. But a shower would have to wait until Sephiroth had some food in him.

Young Sephiroth had followed him and stood at the doorway. "Can I come with you, Cloud?"

"I don't have any clothes that would fit you, Sephiroth." He didn't Cloud said apologetically. Besides, Cloud still hadn't thought of a good explanation as to why there was suddenly a 11 year old boy with him. Mr. Winderum would probably ask if he saw Sephiroth.

Sephiroth's disappoint showed in his expression and it upset Cloud more than it should have. To appease him, Cloud hurriedly added, "But I'll go get you some clothes while I'm out, and you can come with me while I run my other errands after breakfast okay?" Cloud picked up First Tsurugi and put his hand on the doorknob, not opening the door yet as Sephiroth was still next to him, stark naked.

Sephiroth chewed on his lower lip, "Okay, I guess." Cloud smiled down at him and ruffled his hair.

"Good. Don't open the door for anyone. I have the room key with me. I'll see you later then."

Cloud was about to step out when Sephiroth yelled, "Wait!"

Cloud looked back at Sephiroth and waited as asked (or ordered).

"You won't leave me here will you?"

Cloud smiled, hoping he looked reassuring. "Of course not," he said softly.

"Promise?"

"I promise," Cloud said solemnly, he bent down and kissed Sephiroth on the forehead. Cloud then frowned. The action surprised even himself. Where had the urge come from? Gaia, Cloud could think of a million reasons why getting too attached to Sephiroth was a bad idea. Cloud quickly dismissed the thought though. He would brood about it later, if his mind really couldn't leave it alone.

"I'll be back in an hour. The most, an hour and a half. Try to get some more sleep, we have a lot to do today." Silently, Cloud was beginning to regret saying that he'd let Sephiroth stay with him for the rest of the day. What if Sephiroth was influenced by Jenova again? Vincent didn't react to being awakened very well last time, it might be even worse for Cloud if Sephiroth was with him. Perhaps he could talk Sephiroth out of going with him once Cloud returned to the inn.

That in mind, Cloud quickly made his way to the town centre, where, thank goodness, people were already up and working. He exchanged his Lucille Nuts for 1000 gil and turned down the offer of a medal as recognition, before heading to the market place.

* * *

Sephiroth watched the door close and suddenly felt colder. He was standing stock still in the middle of the small room that now felt so **empty** now that Cloud wasn't there.

Cloud. The pretty name fit so well with someone so strong and beautiful Who was this man? Who'd taken care of Sephiroth and stopped it from hurting.

Sephiroth clambered back onto the bed and slipped under the covers just as Cloud had asked him to. He smiled as he closed his eyes and recalled the strong arms that held him last night and the warmth of the body next to him while he had slept. Then his eyes shot open again; what if Cloud left him here and never came back?

No, stop being a baby Sephiroth, he promised he'd come back. But Sephiroth's fear couldn't be squashed down completely, and he couldn't go back to sleep again. So he just lay there and waited.

and waited,

and waited.

Where was Cloud? He probably **had** abandoned him. Who would want someone weak like Sephiroth (who threw up all over Cloud's coat) tagging around anyway?

He looked at the clock. It had been an hour and 14 minutes. Cloud said he'd try to be back within an hour didn't he? Sephiroth couldn't stop the tears from coming, and small sobs and gasps escaped from his mouth.

Then, suddenly, Sephiroth heard soft footsteps, some rustling and clinking, and then saw the door knob turning. "Cloud?"

"Sephiroth. I forgot to ask you what you wanted so- Sephiroth? What's wrong?" Cloud set down a bag of clothes, whatever food, and the two cups of whatever drink he had bought on the bedside table and sat on the bed, gently touching Sephiroth's shoulder.

Sephiroth suddenly felt angry at himself. How could he think that Cloud wouldn't keep his promise? Yet he still couldn't stop his **stupid** sobbing. Goddess, if Cloud hadn't left yet, he would leave now. Sephiroth was such a cry baby. Genesis had called Sephiroth a crybaby the last time he'd seen him. No one liked to be with crybabies. The thought made Sephiroth cry harder.

"What's the matter, Sephiroth?" Cloud asked again. Sephiroth didn't reply. There was no need to whine as well.

Cloud remained silent and stroked Sephiroth's hair until he the child quietened. Cloud's hand was so soothing that the boy soon calmed down.

"Come on, I got you some clothes. Why don't you try them on?" Cloud urged, finally removing his hand and showing Sephiroth the bag of clothes.

Sephiroth saw a black jump suit that was presumably Cloud's as it was far too big for him. So he grabbed the remaining garments; grey underwear, a forest green pull-over sweater, dark blue cargo pants and white trainers - all new, and in good quality- and put them on.

When Sephiroth was done, Cloud nodded, seeming to approve. "You look good."

"Thank you," Sephiroth whispered. For the clothes. For everything else.

"No problem." Cloud simply replied, "I'm going to take a shower. There's food over there. I hope you like hash browns, pancakes and hot chocolate." With that, Cloud took the black jumpsuit and headed to the bathroom. Sephiroth watched Cloud disappeared behind the door before helping himself to breakfast.

He would **not** allow himself to be separated from Cloud again. Just in case.

* * *

Cloud breathed a sigh as the steaming hot water ran over rinsed his head and ran over his body. He stood there for a minute, just relishing the warmth before squeezing some shampoo out of a bottle provided by the inn and rubbing the clear liquid through his hair.

He was soon lost in his thoughts. What had Cloud gotten himself into? He didn't know how to raise a kid. Sure, there were Denzel and Marlene, both who considered Cloud as a guardian of a sort, but Tifa had done all the work raising them.

How would Cloud take care of a kid like Sephiroth? He had the potential to go insane and destroy the Planet for fucks sake! Even if eliminating Jenova would put an end to **that** threat, Cloud had heard that geniuses needed much more nurturing and guidance than normal kids, and Sephiroth was no doubt a genius.

Cloud sighed again (he realised he had been doing a lot of that for the past few days). He wasn't going to achieve anything thinking negatively like this. It wasn't as if he could just **leave** the kid.

No, he could never do that to Sephiroth. His former idol.

His former cr-

Cloud rinsed himself one last time and turned off the tap with finality. He was **not** going to finish that thought.

Cloud dried himself with the standard white inn towel, put on his new black jumpsuit and stepped back out to the bedroom. "Sephiroth?"

Cloud saw that Sephiroth had finished the food and had neatly tidied up was putting all the trash in the bin. Sephiroth turned to Cloud and held up the remaining cup of hot chocolate to him. Cloud took it with a smile and thank you.

"Yes, Cloud?"

Cloud took a sip of his drink and carefully schooled his features. He doubted that Sephiroth would be happy about spending the entire day in the inn room with absolutely nothing to do. "I was thinking, and, well, some errands I have to make today will be dangerous, and I would really prefer you to stay in here."

There was a long silence. Cloud took another long sip of his chocolate, waiting for the awkwardness to pass and for Sephiroth to say something.

But whatever Cloud had expected as a reaction, what he saw next was not it.

Sephiroth looked down, his long bangs hiding his expression. If Cloud had not seen the small frame trembling, he would not have noticed. Sephiroth wasn't laughing. No, the child was crying.

Cloud groaned inwardly, and quickly replayed in his mind what he had just said. He couldn't find anything wrong with it. Could this be related to whatever Sephiroth was sobbing about earlier?

"Sephiroth?" He asked awkwardly. Cloud did not know how to comfort a crying kid, at all.

"Please, can I," Sephiroth sniffled and rubbed his eyes furiously, obviously trying to hide his tears, "come with you?"

"I'm going to be going back up to the manor," Cloud said gently. He was certain Sephiroth wouldn't want to come with him, knowing **that**.

"I don't care! Cloud? I don't want to be alone. It's so scary." Sephiroth looked up again, and Cloud crumbled at his expression. Those green eyes, wide, filled with tears that **Cloud** had caused.

"Sephiroth," Cloud said, in a last attempt to sway the boy. Softly, so to not provoke another onslaught of sobs.

"Earlier, you said I could come with you." Sephiroth said forcefully, "It's bad to go back on your word. Professor Gast said." Sephiroth was right of course, and Cloud being the provisional parent should set a good example. Not that he hadn't already been convinced by the earlier show of emotion.

"Okay, but I'm warning you that its going to be a tough day, and I don't want to hear a word of complaint out of your mouth. Hear?" After saying this, Cloud grimaced. He couldn't help but feel that he was slipping into the fatherly role far too easily, despite his lack of experience.

So, soon after Cloud had finished his hot chocolate, the pair headed out. Unfortunately, on the way down, they bumped into Mr. Winderum.

"Good morning, Mr. Strife." the man greeted cheerfully.

"Good morning, Tom." Knowing that the man would ask, or at least wonder and spread rumours, Cloud said, "This is Sephiroth, he's a kid I found out in the mountains, yesterday. He says his parents were killed, so I've sort of taken him in." Yes, that would fit with the story the scientist was going to tell Shinra. "Sephiroth, say hi to Mr. Winderum." Yes, he was **definitely** becoming a parent too easily.

Sephiroth didn't seem to mind though, and said politely, "Hello, Mr. Winderum."

"'Lo, kid." Mr. Winderum ruffled Sephiroth's hair, who wrinkled up his nose with distaste. Then to Cloud, he said, "You're a good man, Mr. Strife."

"Please, call me Christen. Thank you, but I'm sure you would've done the same thing in my position. I'll see you tonight, Tom." Cloud nodded once more and left the inn with Sephiroth at tow.

They trekked up the hill in silence. Just as Cloud had asked, Sephiroth remained without complaints. In fact, the boy was silent through out the trip. Feeling slightly guilty at what he had said to Sephiroth earlier, Cloud stayed quiet as well. Instead of making conversation, Cloud planned out what he was going to do.

Should he wake Vincent up or eliminate Jenova first?

Cloud was leaning towards Vincent simply because his old friend's strength would be useful if anything undesirable happened. The ex-Turk could watch over Sephiroth while Cloud dealt with Jenova. Cloud did not want Sephiroth anywhere near that thing, even though he could easily over power the child if Sephiroth so happened to fall into the hands of Jenova's manipulation again. He was not ready mentally and emotionally to take on an insane Sephiroth. Jenova would also try to control Cloud who had a good number of Jenova cells in his body as well. If Cloud somehow decided to go crazy and burn down Nibelheim himself, Vincent was the only person who could stop him.

On the other hand, there was no telling how Vincent would react to being waken up and to Sephiroth, Lucrecia and his own son. It may not be so easy to win Vincent's confidence this time around especially with his alike-ness with the SOLDIERs. Not to mention having Sephiroth with him was rather suspicious. It had taken a long conversation last time to convince Vincent, and it would take a longer one this time.

It was Jenova first then.

Sephiroth was regretting insisting that Cloud take him.

It wasn't that the walk was tiring. No, not at all. But it was that Cloud was obviously upset with him... and Sephiroth easily understood why. Why couldn't he just have listened to Cloud?

Sephiroth almost moaned out loud at how ungrateful he had acted.

'You crybaby,' Genesis voice echoed in his head. Sephiroth kept his head down in shame, feeling tears welling up in his eyes **again**. Goddess, how Sephiroth hated himself! Crying was a weakness. Sephiroth should be above silly human emotions like sadness and disappointment. Professor Hojo had said so.

Why was Sephiroth so weak? Why couldn't he be strong like Cloud?

Not looking at where he was going, Sephiroth tripped and fell with a grunt. Quickly, he scrambled back up, hoping that Cloud hadn't noticed.

"You okay, Sephiroth?" So Cloud had obviously noticed.

Sephiroth cringed. Now he'd went and dirtied that new clothes Cloud had bought for him! At that moment, Sephiroth wanted nothing more than to kill himself. He was so **stupid**.

"Sephiroth, are you hurt anywhere?" Cloud asked softly, putting a large hand on Sephiroth's shoulder.

Sephiroth shook his head quickly. "I'm not complaining!"

Cloud frowned, looking uncomfortable. "I didn't mean that Sephiroth," he said slowly. "If there's anything wrong, I want to know. Okay?" Cloud paused for a moment, then continued. "I especially need to know if you get hurt. Understand?"

Sephiroth nodded vigorously to show he did. "But I'm not hurt. Really," he insisted. "I just stumbled a bit."

Cloud nodded but still swept Sephiroth into his lean but muscular arms and carried him the rest of the way up to the mountains.

* * *

When they arrived in front of the Shinra Mansion, Sephiroth couldn't help but wish that the mansion was further away. Then, Sephiroth chided himself for being so selfish. Cloud had important things to do at the mansion. Better things to do than hold Sephiroth all day long anyway.

"I need you to do something for me Sephiroth." Cloud's voice pulled him out of his wistful voice. Sephiroth looked at Cloud attentively, waiting. "Are you sure you don't want to stay outside and wait for me? There will be... remnants of last night's activities that are not very pretty." Sephiroth narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips in obvious disapproval. Cloud was **not** leaving him alone now.

Cloud seemed to get the message and chuckled. "Okay, but fair warning. The mansion is a creepy place." Now the man was just looking for excuses.

"I know, I grew up in there." Sephiroth said flatly, "I don't want to be alone." I want to stay with you.

Cloud nodded in acceptance, then his expression turned solemn and he watched Sephiroth carefully. Sephiroth quickly became nervous and impatient under the scrutiny and asked, "What is it, Cloud?"

"Promise me that you'll stay next to me the entire time in the mansion." Cloud said, finally, "and that if you hear any voices in your head. Do not listen to them. Stick close to me, unless I tell you otherwise."

Sephiroth blinked. Voices in his head? Was Cloud insane? Did Cloud think **he** was insane?

"Promise me," Cloud said sternly. "Else you're staying out here."

Sephiroth shrugged. The promise didn't seem hard to keep. "I promise."

* * *

**I read over Chapters 1 and 2, and realised that my writing was a MESS. I've edited them a lot so go back and read them :) Thank you for all the reviews, and story alerting and favourite-ing this story. Sorry about the dullness of this chapter, and the shortness. This is one of those lay over chapters where nothing really happens. And, please forgive Seph's OOCness.**

**Okay, so, big big problems with this chapter. This is just a RAW, and I'll have a look at it again maybe in a couple days. Until then, enjoy! and please, please, please review and tell me what you think and how I can improve.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I Keep On Searching: Chapter 4**

Cloud led the way to the 'secret' underground laboratory, with Sephiroth following close behind, his small hand gripping the tail of Cloud's long jacket, his heart thudding with anxiety. He did not like this place **at all**. What Sephiroth had gone through the night before was still fresh in his mind. But Sephiroth quickly reminded himself that Cloud was right there and that the beautiful, caring, strong man would not let him get hurt.

Cloud seemed to sense Sephiroth's nervousness, as he turned around and said gently, "You sure you don't want to wait outside for me?"

No! Of course he didn't! Sure it seemed less creepy outside, but Hojo and all the other scientists had told him that there were **monsters**. Outside, at the mercy of being eaten and without Cloud? No, thank you. Sephiroth checked himself for any signs of fear and willed them away. He had a feeling that if Cloud thought that he was too weak for this, the man would send him back outside anyway. Sephiroth saw that Cloud glanced at him worriedly before opening the door to the first room of Hojo's laboratory. That was where the fight had taken place yesterday. Sephiroth had only been semi-conscious at the time, so he didn't really remember what had happened.

The light in the lab was still on from the night before, and the remains of what had happened the previous night was as clear as day. Sephiroth shuddered, inwardly of course. He would not bother Cloud with his silly sensitivity.

But the horrible, horrible smell got to him. The salty, metallic smell of blood made Sephiroth want to throw up again. The smell was probably from the puddles and splatters of blood all over the floor, or maybe from the bodies of the dead SOLDIERs and scientists. Sephiroth recognised Hojo immediately, even in his bloodied state. Oh Gaia, he could see the hated man's **insides**. Sephiroth couldn't hold back the scream, the girly scream (that would've made Genesis' day and Sephiroth would have never in his life stopped hearing about it), that escaped his lips when he saw that not far away was the head of one of the other scientists, just the head, with bloodshot eyes wide open.

"I'm sorry," His pathetic, girly scream must have made Cloud turn back. Sephiroth looked up at the blonde man and saw that he too seemed as though he was taking in the scene for the first time. "I must have lost more control than I thought last night. Sephiroth, I think you should go back outside and wait for me there. Okay?" Sephiroth shook his head furiously, took two steps forward towards Cloud and clung onto his arm, just in case the man left him there. Cloud sighed, "If that's what you want." They started to walk across the large room.

Sephiroth's brain was working furiously, trying to take in the scene. Cloud had done that. His Cloud had done that, just some hours ago.

"I'm sorry you have to see this, Sephiroth. Last night, well, they made me so angry... what they were doing to you. That they were hurting you." Cloud's low voice brought Sephiroth back from his thoughts. Sephiroth just whimpered softly in reply. Cloud had done it... for him? Well, those people had hurt him. So that made it okay right? Cloud was still beautiful and kind.

By now, they had entered another room in the lab, one that Sephiroth had never been in before. There were three large bookshelves, overspilling with tomes, many of which looked antique. Cloud had closed the door behind them, and Sephiroth could not smell the blood any more, although the memory of it was still very vivid in his mind. But if Sephiroth was no longer being exposed to and sickened by the putrid smell or the horrible scene, then why was his head still throbbing like there was no tomorrow?

:: Perhaps you're disgusted at what **he** did. He isn't exactly as great as you thought he was is he? ::

No, maybe Cloud wasn't. But-

:: What's to say he won't do the same to you, if he gets angry enough? ::

No, Cloud would never. Right?

"Sephiroth," Sephiroth glanced up at Cloud who was eyeing him with a frown. It was then Sephiroth realised he had stopped walking and was holding the sides of his heads in his two hands. Oh right, Cloud had told him to say something if he started hearing voices in his head. Sephiroth opened his mouth to do as he was told earlier-

:: No, do not tell him! Do you want him to do to you as he did to those poor men? ::

"Sephiroth, are you hearing voices in your head? I said to tell me, remember?" Cloud narrowed his eyes at him, and Sephiroth could tell he was highly annoyed.

"I-I'm not hearing any v-voices, Cloud." Sephiroth said shakily.

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Cloud shouted, a furious glint in his eyes. Sephiroth took a step back, extremely frightened. Images of what he had just seen in the previous room of the laboratory flashed through his mind. Tears started to well up in his eyes again.

"C-Cloud..." Where had **his** Cloud gone? Suddenly, Cloud drew his buster blade and sprinted off towards another door.

:: Stop him! :: The voice screeched so loudly that it made Sephiroth's head throb painfully. Still, Sephiroth obeyed out of instinct and ran after Cloud.

* * *

Desperately, Cloud broke down the locked door to the room where he knew Jenova was. He wasn't going to let Jenova have Sephiroth again. Sure enough, there was the all to familiar tank in the middle of the room, only this time it wasn't broken. This time, Cloud saw the alien calamity attached to her purple-red mutation of a body, the blood red glowing eyes and the white hair flowing in all directions. Cloud was glad he hadn't seen Jenova the first time round, when he was still a teenaged trooper. He would have wet his pants.

But Cloud was not about to lose Sephiroth to this monster once more, he decided determinedly. Cloud lifted his heavy buster sword and brought it on the glass of the tank. The glass was sturdy, but Cloud's inhumane, mako induced strength added to the First Tsurugi that was at least fifty pounds, if not more, broke through on the second blow.

This was it. He was going to end Jenova.

"Stop!" Sephiroth shrill voice did indeed make Cloud stop in his tracks. Cloud turned around to see that Sephiroth had followed him. Sephiroth's eyes were pink and tears streaked down his cheeks. The silver haired boy who barely reached his chest despite Cloud's short stature was trying to stare the veteran warrior down. "Do not hurt Mother!"

The word 'Mother' triggered something ferocious in Cloud, perhaps because he had heard the word fall from Sephiroth lips one too many times... and his hatred for Jenova, Hojo and the horrors they had committed grew every single time. Without a second thought, he skewered Jenova, beheaded her and slashed at her and her head repeatedly.

"Stop!" Sephiroth shrieked but Cloud didn't listen. Though, Cloud vaguely felt it when Sephiroth started raining punches on his back. Light, feathery punches that had no hope of deterring Cloud at all. Cloud ignored them and continued to work out his frustrations on the alien that was now a bloody mess. First Tsurugi was raised and felled repeatedly until Cloud could feel a tired strain in his biceps.

Cloud had not idea how long he'd been at it until he was satisfied. He reveled in the relief that met him after he came down from his adrenaline induced high. The relief that he had rid the Planet of what would otherwise be its destruction in only a few years time. The relief that didn't last long, however. Turning around, Cloud saw Sephiroth, who had stopped pounding his back a while ago and was staring- no, **glaring**- at him with a furious expression of pure hatred.

It was then Cloud realised what the scene must have seemed like to Sephiroth, who had called the beaten, bloody lump 'Mother'. He bit his lower lip.

"Sephiroth," Cloud started tentatively, "I told you not to listen to the voices in your head." He then took a step forward, but Sephiroth's expression then changed to one of fear and the child took a step back. "Fuck," Cloud cursed under his breath, before changing his approach. "Sephiroth... there something I have to tell you." Perhaps Cloud should have told him as soon as they met in this time? "Whatever the voices in your head told you, that thing was not your Mother. It was an alien calamity, who was trying, to put it simply, to destroy the Planet."

Sephiroth's angelic face twisted into a soft sneer, "There's no such thing as aliens, stupid. You're the monster."

"Sephiroth. There's no need for name calling." Cloud said weakly, before falling silent. That had hit home a bit too hard.

What should he do now? If Sephiroth hated him and believed whatever Jenova had said to him, then the safest course for Cloud and the Planet was to kill the boy. Cloud had experienced first hand Sephiroth's potential strength. Cloud tightened his grip on First Tsurugi, but could not bring himself to lift it again. He stared at Sephiroth, so sweet and innocent, glaring at him with watery eyes and hesitated. Gaia, Cloud knew he shouldn't have gotten so attached.

:: Will you stop thinking about killing him? Bring him to Vincent, his **father**. ::

That actually sounded like a good idea. Cloud wondered briefly who the voice was though, he didn't want to be a hypocrite and listen to voices in his own head when he had told Sephiroth exactly not to do that.

:: Who I am is of no importance yet. I said before that I mean you no harm, I am not Jenova. Bring Sephiroth to Vincent. ::

The suggestion was a good one. Cloud ran through the possible consequences and the pros clearly outweighed the cons, considering Sephiroth's current distrustful state.

"Sephiroth," Cloud said his name softly, "You shouldn't believe everything you are told. There was no evidence that Jenova was your mother. But again, there is no reason for you to believe me either. So why don't I take you to your father? He can explain to you the truth."

"My father was Professor Hojo, whom you also killed last night." Sephiroth cried accusingly, "I have no one now." With that, the dam broke and Sephiroth dropped to his knees, shaking and sobbing. Cloud ran a hand through his spiky hair frustratedly, messing the mob up even more. Now he had to deal with tears, which he was **terrible** at.

"You still have, um, me," Cloud said numbly, "I mean, and Vincent." That was probably the most pathetic attempt at being comforting in history. Was the boy honestly upset that he had killed Hojo? Jenova, Cloud could sort of understand, but Sephiroth had experienced first hand Hojo's cruelty since he was barely a year old if Cloud remembered correctly. Cloud took a deep breath and continued, "Hojo was not your father Sephiroth. I know your father, and he is kind and compassionate even if he is a bit reserved. His name is Vincent, and I'm going to see him now. If you'd like to come, feel free."

Cloud started to leave the laboratory to the room of coffins in which one of the coffins held Vincent Valentine. He walked slowly, allowing Sephiroth calm down and pick himself up to follow him. This room was outside of the lab, so Cloud had to take Sephiroth past that repulsive scene again. Once the boy had caught up, he walked hastily through the lab and didn't slow down and turn to Sephiroth until he was at the door of the room of coffins.

"You're shivering," Cloud said quietly to the young boy, suspecting that it was more from fear than the non-existent cold. Regardless, Cloud shrugged off his long, black coat and wrapped it around Sephiroth's small frame. Sephiroth flinched, but other than that, remained where he was. They both seemed much calmer now. "I'm sorry you had to see that." Cloud stroked the silky, silver hair. "But you'll understand soon... I hope. Humour me for a little longer?"

Cloud watched Sephiroth swallow, hesitate, before finally nodding. "Good boy, I'm going to go wake up your father right now... it's not my story to tell, so he can explain to you later. Wait here for me, alright?" Cloud left him after receiving a small nod.

* * *

Sephiroth watched Cloud walk into the other room before sitting down on the first step of the staircase that led back to the ground floor. He felt so emotionally and mentally numb that he couldn't think, didn't know what to think. So Sephiroth just sat there, numbly, waiting.

Some time later, his heart calmed and his head cleared somewhat. He couldn't believe Cloud had done that... all of that... but really, Sephiroth should have known. Did he really think Hojo and the other scientists just handed him over to Cloud, when they had spent so much time and effort into Sephiroth? Cloud was a strong man. That was what made Sephiroth feel so safe before.

So what was going to happen to him now? Cloud said that he'd take Sephiroth to his father. His real father, who wasn't Hojo! The thought made Sephiroth happy, at first. But then he though, what if his real father was worse than Hojo? But Cloud had called... Vincent?... kind. Then there was Cloud. Would the warrior leave him if he didn't have to take care of Sephiroth anymore? He still felt that almost reflexive pang in his heart he got every time he thought about Cloud leaving him alone, despite what had happened earlier.

Oh goddess. Sephiroth whimpered when the too recent events replayed in his mind. Cloud had scared him so much... but Sephiroth deserved it, didn't he? He didn't listen to Cloud when the man told him not to listen to voices in his head. Remembering what 'Mother' had looked like before Cloud pulverised her, Sephiroth knew there was no way that the thing was his mother. She had a purple skin and glowing red eyes for goodness' sake! How could Sephiroth be so stupid?

But it had felt so real at the time, Sephiroth believed everything 'Mother' had said. He'd **attacked** Cloud, and called him a monster. Cloud had done nothing but help Sephiroth since they met yesterday. The familiar compulsion to cry came back again. Cloud would never want to stay with Sephiroth now. Sephiroth felt cold, and pulled Cloud's coat tighter around his body, trying to bite back the sobbing.

Then Sephiroth shook his head vehemently. No, he wouldn't be a cry baby this time. Sephiroth was going to apologise to Cloud, who might then forgive him, right? Completely forgetting Cloud's orders to wait outside, Sephiroth burst into the room of coffins.

There stood a tall man clad in a black and red standing facing Cloud. The two men turned around, probably at the loud noise Sephiroth had made. Cloud gave a small sigh, though Sephiroth could tell there was an amused twinkle in the blonde's eyes. Cloud looked lighter, as if a heavy burden had been taken off his chest.

Was Sephiroth the burden?

"You never listen to me do you?"

No, Sephiroth realised, he never listened to Cloud did he? He hadn't listened to Cloud when the man told him to wait outside the house, or the lab, or even here. He hadn't listened when Cloud told him not to listen to voices in his head. Was that why Sephiroth was a burden? But he could change that, he really could.

Sephiroth then remembered why he had run in here in the first place. "Cloud?" He walk a few steps forward and peeked up at the warrior cautiously. Cloud remained silent, waiting for him to continue. "I'm sorry for what I did earlier. Please forgive me?"

The warm feeling of relief spread through Sephiroth when the blonde man pulled him into a tight hug and said, "Don't worry about it. It was my fault as well."

The strong front Sephiroth had put forth crumbled. "Please don't leave me, Cloud."

"I won't." Cloud breathed softly. He squeezed Sephiroth once more before letting the child go.

With that out of the way, Sephiroth was suddenly painfully aware of the other man in the room. He tried to look closer, to gain a more thorough impression, without seeming **too** rude. The man was very tall and rather lean, but anyone who could with a brain could tell that his man was strong. The aura around him was dark and imposing. He was wearing a black jumpsuit, similar to Cloud's, but with a torn blood red cape. He wore a red headband too and Gaia, he had red **eyes**. His hair was blacker that any hair Sephiroth had seen before and long, like his own. The man had pale, flawless skin like Sephiroth had too.

"Sephiroth, this is Vincent Valentine, your father." Sephiroth heard Cloud say and shivered slightly in anticipation as his eyes met the ruby ones of his father's.

* * *

**Yay! Finally! This chapter may seem short (and it is, but I wanted to get this out before I have to put my life into exam studying ): Sorry!) Someone mentioned that I was trying to make you guys think the chapters were long by making a lot of line breaks? I realised that there were a lot of line breaks in the other chapters but I really wasn't trying to deceive you guys! I thought about why I wrote like that and figured it was probably because the way I speak, 'cause when I talk I pause a lot - so the line breaks are kind of like pauses to me. So I tried to write this chapter differently, with not as many pauses.**

**Once again, please review and tell me what you think, what I can improve on etc. Criticism is great ;) and I love your reviews! They're very inspirational and help me so much! I haven't proof read this yet, so I'll probably do that in the next few days. The next chapter won't be out for another while 'cause I have exams coming up and they will actually determine my future. Thanks so much for reading you guys!**

**Edit (April 29, 2011):**

**'Bit more at the end for you guys, though I doubt many will notice. Nevermind, I'll post a note in the next chapter. I am so fucked for exams. Studying so inefficiently. But anyway, thanks and love to readers, especially reviewers :) I'm so sorry if I haven't replied to your review. I'm getting there..  
**


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